When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

Initially of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Normal issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas it is a sobering name to motion, there is no such thing as a denying that sober curiosity has elevated lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and inspecting their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. Immediately we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however definitely not the questions on what we are able to do if we’re desirous about a sober (utterly alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we method consuming as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I feel it’s a really private determination, however should you’re any type of an everyday drinker (that means three or 4 nights per week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other means. Should you’re not consuming in the course of the week, however then consuming a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the prospect to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her guide, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of selection for not less than 4 weeks offers clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely is just not potential whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you haven’t any thought how shitty you actually really feel if you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It often takes a couple of weeks to your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there issues/finest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually depends upon what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to only see should you may make it with out consuming for 30 days? Or have been you on the lookout for actual well being advantages? Or did you understand that your consuming has elevated over the previous few years and you already know you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is basically what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. Should you spend loads of time bargaining with your self every time alcohol is concerned, which ends up in loads of “guidelines” round your consuming, you would possibly need to take a step again.

You may not even concentrate on these guidelines. They’ve simply grow to be a part of your internal chatter. That chatter would possibly sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No consuming earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No laborious alcohol in the course of the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so forth.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on per week evening.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my consuming have been crammed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that have been always shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down each day, and that type of self-disappointment was like a relentless stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your consuming. You would possibly simply determine that it’s not value it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this considering “I wouldn’t have an issue with my alcohol consumption however need to take a extra aware method to what I eat/drink,” what questions ought to be explored when desirous about alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round consuming and the assumption that there are “drawback drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and lifelike, mannequin to make use of on the subject of speaking about alcohol is the concept of consuming occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the concept of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The fantastic thing about this mannequin is that you just don’t must hit any form of a all-time low earlier than you’ll be able to discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to determine at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

Should you’re able to get sincere with the position alcohol performs in your life, I’d recommend sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested by your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to assume. That is about you and the one life that you’ve got, and whether or not or not you desire a poisonous substance to play a job within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does consuming align with the individual I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this scenario?

Tam: What if our pals have gone again to consuming after Dry January, however we are attempting to proceed. Do you’ve solutions/suggestions for how you can make this a part of my life-style with my consuming pals? 

Krysty: You would possibly want to search out new pals – haha. However, significantly, if your folks really respect and help you within the selections you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re regularly attempting to push you to start out consuming once more, whining that you just’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila received’t do any hurt, you then would possibly must rethink who you’re spending time with. It’s essential determine for your self what you need to do with the time that you’ve got, and the folks you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your buddy group is closely immersed in consuming tradition – that means most social actions revolve round alcohol – you then would possibly want to search out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to switch that Friday evening cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m essentially the most fundamental sober individual round – and I’m pleased with consuming a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that individuals have completely different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing somewhat extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on fireplace! There are such a lot of merchandise in the marketplace – assume flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually may go on and on. I’m regularly impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Complete Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle outlets are beginning to supply such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. Should you’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s type of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you would possibly need to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and preserve a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam