How Not To Be A Supermodel

It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever guide, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is accessible for pre-order! Here!

An precise guide that it is possible for you to to carry in your fingers. Or, in the event you favor my dulcet tones, hearken to along with your ears. You’ve cherished my revealing life updates, over time, and also you’ve diligently learn via my farcical tales of woe (keep in mind once I nearly by chance penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the best way again to 2001, once I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my regulation diploma to turn out to be an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.

You would name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my recollections and the experiences I had as a style mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very critical. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my guide within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embody a narrative about by chance happening a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir sometimes have a chapter referred to as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle via my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Carrying Knickers? No it will not.

So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set prior to now, however don’t make the error of pondering that any painful soul-searching went into this guide. Let’s not get the fallacious finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it received to the insufferable bits: this can be a rip-roaring riot of a journey via a decade of the unbelievable situations and surprising occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and ceaselessly ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. In fact there are. In actual fact I used to be particularly advised, once I received the guide deal, that I needed to embody the bits that might create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently turning into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or nearly falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the troublesome bits in addition to the entire elements that can doubtlessly have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.

However largely this can be a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods through which I did not turn out to be a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my persona defects and my spectacular capacity to draw chaos and catastrophe in nearly any scenario.

You may pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I feel it’s a reasonably protected guess that you just’ll find it irresistible. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so in the event you solely ever click on on one hyperlink I submit then please make it this one. I’ll be without end in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be again with extra posts concerning the guide and concerning the means of writing it as a result of it has actually been the most effective, most satisfying factor I’ve ever finished in my grownup life. When you’ve adopted me for some time you then’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really completely satisfied accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve an excellent and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a guide deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.